To Mumbai, With Love

I return again to this space after an unexpectedly long hiatus. The good news is that the break wasn't the result of a writer's block. Rather, it was my busy schedule that prevented me from finding time to gather my thoughts and penning them down. 

I have written about Mumbai so many times before. There are times when I wonder what more is there to say about this city that hasn't already been said before. It has been more than three years since I have lived here; and finally it is no more just a city of dreams or a city of unending ambitions for me.
When I first came to the city, I was one among the many aspirants who come to this place with starry-eyed dreams and believe this is the Mecca of making those dreams come true.

It has been three years and I am not sure where those dreams disappeared. In hind sight, I don't think I can even remember what those dreams were. It all seems like hogwash to me - a thing of a past that is so distant that no matter how hard I try to recollect, the only faint remnants of its existence is experienced in my heart in the form of piercing feelings.
Yet I seem to be in love with this city. It is difficult for me to pinpoint the reason. Do I love the city because it gives me my independence? Or is it the unstoppable life of the city that I am attracted to?
The people, here, are fascinating. They always seem to have new stories to tell; and some of the old ones are always eager to fill you in with tales of bygone days. But then people are interesting almost anywhere you go if you take the time to catch a glimpse of their world.

It is not the busy life of the city that attracts me. Living in Kolkata for almost seventeen years of my life has ensured that I prefer the slow life compared to the madness one sees while travelling in the Mumbai locals especially during rush-hours; and while Mumbai does have a charm of its own, nothing beats the old-world charm of Kolkata in my eyes. The way I see it, the crude, harsh tone of Marathi stands no chance of winning points against the melodious ring of the Bengali language. Forgive me if I appear biased!
Of course the one thing I absolutely love about Mumbai, apart from the beautiful rains, is Marine Drive - the entire stretch at night is an object of devotion on its own.
But is that reason enough to make me want to stay?
Of course not!

Acknowledging Mumbai as my "home" instead of being just the "current city of residence" was not an easy transition. But it happened. This change can be attributed to a lot of factors - my exciting work, my very messy but spacious house, my funny, travel adventures, my daily encounters with individuals that always give me wonderful stories to narrate about discovery and delight...This list can be endless. But one thing that truly makes this city feel like "home" are the wonderful friends I made who stood by my side and always sustained my belief that no matter how bad things were, "this too shall pass".
Sometimes I wonder, if it weren't for them, would I have survived the time I got stuck at Dadar-Matunga for more than four hours owing to the heavy rains? Would I have managed to take a leap of faith and resign from a job that did not seem fulfilling enough if I did not have their support? Would I have had the courage to embark on a road to a new destination I was absolutely clueless about? Could I have overcome the loneliness one sometimes tends to experience living alone in such big cities?
I don't think I could have survived any of that without them!

My old dreams may have evaporated but I have still not become a person who just goes on with the daily drudgery of life with no fun and zeal. Life is a journey and even though one may have to give up on past dreams and wishes as one advances, it does not mean that those are not replaced with newer goals and ambitions.
Mumbai has helped me evolve as an individual at many different levels - today, I feel more connected to my core. I have set new goals for myself and I am aware that I have the support-system I need in order to achieve them. Life is not a bed of roses and there are thorns that I need to look out for but I have faith - in the end, everything will be alright!
I guess this is the Mumbai spirit that everyone boasts about - no matter what disasters fall in your path a Mumbaikar always has a ready disposition to face and overcome all calamities. I think this new-found fighting-spirit that I seem to have recently discovered officially qualifies me to say I am a Mumbaikar, after all. 

Marine Drive

Lately, there has been a lot happening at my end. In the course of a week's time, my life has changed gears drastically. Whenever I find myself in the midst of a lot of turmoil, I rush off to Marine Drive to seek refuge. Last night was no different except for the fact that there were hardly any people in sight...

I walked down the road and sat down at my usual spot. As I sat there, I observed the waves lashing against the rocks. The sea is always in a state of disarray, all the time creating bubbles and ripples...I stared at the sea and found that it was talking to me. It pronounced something, over and over, in a hoarse whisper; and no matter how hard I tried, I could not make out what it was that the sea was trying to say.

I have always been in love with the sea. I love the smell of the salt-water. I love the fact that the sea has the potent power to make me thing things I like to think about...I love the fact that the sea makes me believe that I can achieve all the things that I want to achieve...The sea is my friend - whenever I feel restless and disturbed, I find the sea to be as disturbed and as restless as I am.

After some time, it started to drizzle. I allowed the little droplets of rain-water to fall on me - I made no attempt to wipe them off. I looked at the sea again. This time, the sea reminded me of a wild beast roaring and raging in its den. It reminded me of my everlasting efforts to be free and how some of the struggles had been in vain. There were times when no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up being just where everything began. This time, I hoped, things would be different...

I tried thinking of the times when the sea is peaceful. On some sunny afternoons, one finds the sun rays brightly reflected in the water while the waves create gentle ripples. At Marine Drive, the land is always well in sight even if you sit with your back turned to the hustle and bustle of the fast-paced city behind you. I never realize the immensity and awfulness of the sea when I am there - the vastness of the sea never appears to be a threat to me. The buildings, the lights, the people sitting and walking around - all of them are different, integral parts of a glorious, joyous, glittering scene.   

Marine Drive is one of the places where I always feel alone even if I go there with a good friend of mine. It is, however, one place where I never feel lonely. Whenever I am feeling agitated or distressed, I am most likely to be found sitting at Marine Drive - sometimes with a book in my hand and headphones plugged to my ear...Marine Drive gives me a sense of belonging...It is my cure for all the ill happenings in my life...It is the one place where I always am at peace...