A Visit To St. Catherine's Home

A part of my job-profile entails that I liaison with different organizations (primarily NGOs) regarding fieldwork placements of students. This responsibility took me to St. Catherine's Home in Andheri (West), Mumbai on a nice, sunny Saturday morning. While I have visited several organizations in the past, this one, in particular, was a humbling experience for me.

St. Catherine's Home was started in 1922 to provide shelter to unmarried mothers but today it caters to more than 300 infants, toddlers, girls and young, unmarried women who have been the victims of deprivation, abandonment and abuse. The one thing that struck me the  most about this home was its emphasis on not just providing education and rehabilitation but also catering to the psycho-social needs of the individuals residing there and ensuring they are re-integrated into society when they are ready. I was amazed to know that they ensure their children go on a trip to the sea-side once every year!

As soon as I reached the home, there was a young couple there who were just leaving after adopting a ten-month old baby. It was a touching experience seeing the gleam of happiness in the eyes of the new mother as she was holding the child in her arms.
After the couple left, I had a conversation with Sister which made me open my eyes about many things that I was already aware of but I chose not to see. For instance, I was told that one of the major challenges they face when they put children up for adoption is that couples do not want to adopt dark-skinned babies. I guess it is because of such obsession with fair-skin that we need campaigns like Dark Is Beautiful. I was also told that no family in India wants to adopt a child that has any mental or physical handicap. In fact, they do not even want to adopt children who have any scars or marks on their faces. I was really troubled on hearing this! While the mind-set is such that we want our children to be perfect, does this mean that children who appear farther away from perfection have no place in mainstream society? Is only beauty deserving of love and affection? I found myself thinking to myself that it is probably because of this narrow mind-set that the couples were not blessed with a baby of their own in the first place - no matter how hard I tried, I found myself being quite judgmental when I heard these stories. Sister told me that all children with special needs are put for adoption in foreign countries. She told me about children getting adopted and living in Sweden, France, Belgium and U.S.A. and doing very well there.
Every time I hear politicians or some orthodox people condemning how the 'Indian culture' has gone for a toss owing to Westernization, I feel they should reflect on some of the ways in which the Western society is better; especially when it comes to the way it treats its women.

While the home is doing a commendable job despite being short of funds, the fact that it exists is proof that we are living in a society that is in no ways safe for the people who have the XX chromosome. Every day, news of molestation, child abuse, gang-rapes continue to be hurled at the public through newspapers, radios and televisions. I wonder what happens after the sensationalism is over? No one is ready to take any responsibility. We wish to blame the government, the police-forces, the judiciary, the media, the politicians, the organization but nothing really comes out of this blame game. I just feel that it is now time to take matters in our own hands and be responsible for our own safety because expecting this country to be a safe place for women is like a Utopian dream.

Towards the end of the visit, the words of Sister that remained with me were, "Count your blessings! Our children, here, would gladly exchange places with you right now. You have food, shelter, clothing and so much more - be thankful to the ones who provide them for you. Parents are always taken for granted and never appreciated for all the things they do because after all you feel it is their 'duty' to do so." She gave us instances of fathers molesting their own daughters; mothers selling their daughters; uncles making their nieces work in the flesh-trade and all these stories just gave me goose-bumps. The trauma one feels when one becomes aware of the fact that the one who is assigned the job of protecting you and taking care of all your needs is the one who is subjecting you to exploitation and oppression is one that can be extremely heart-wrenching and something that no one can understand unless and until you have been in the same shoes. At the end of the visit, I just felt grateful for having so many privileges, luxuries and comforts - while I never have issues expressing my thankfulness, today was one day when I felt a simple 'thank you' would just not do.

To all the people reading this, I reiterate Sister's message and request you to make a list of all those things in life you are grateful for and express your heart-felt thanks to those people who have blessed you by providing those things. It will not only help you look at your life from a different perspective but you will also be making a difference in the lives of those who you hold in special regard. 

The Boy On The Plane

I recently came across this Parle-G advertisement reminding grownups that childhood is the most educative period of development for children and curiosity is their best teacher. I really liked the message because I believe it to be so true! I have worked and interacted with children in abundance; and as a counsellor and special educator I have found that children are, very often, discouraged for asking a lot of questions, and frowned upon when they try doing things out of the ordinary. As adults, we forget that children are still to learn the ways of the world and it is our job to allow their creativity to flow freely.

As an adult, I still feel we can learn a lot from children. The Boy On The Plane is an article I had written some time back and posted on my Facebook page. I am just re-posting it here and I hope you enjoy reading it. 

THE BOY ON THE PLANE

I am not a big fan of travelling by air. I find flight journeys to be rather tedious and boring...Had it not been the fastest means of reaching any destination, I don't think travelling by air would ever have been my first preference.
Although I always insist on sitting by the window-seat, there really isn't much of a view for the eyes to feast upon. Of course sitting on the window-seat has its advantages - one is not endlessly disturbed by the co-passengers who always seem to want to get up and go to the loo or to grab things out of their bag; and if some co-passenger is not interesting enough, one can always rest one's head against the edge of the plane and pretend to catch up on a few winks of sleep. The latter is sometimes applicable in my case for I've had my share of creepy co-passengers who've attempted to strike rather weird conversations with me!

Flying back to Mumbai from Kolkata, I wasn't in a very good mood. Not only was I leaving a day earlier than I had intended to (thanks to the proposed Bharat Bandh) but I hadn't really got the opportunity to enjoy my stay at home with my friends since all of them seemed busy preparing for exams!

Despite arriving late at the airport, I did succeed in getting hold of the last window-seat. Thank God for small mercies! I only prayed, now, that I did not get stuck with some creepy person sitting next to me. Once I boarded the aeroplane and was seated comfortably with a book to read for passing time, a flustered mother with her five-year old boy, came and occupied the two seats next to mine. The boy was sitting in the middle row while his mother occupied the seat closest to the aisle. He was extremely noisy and fidgeting a lot. "Oh no!" I groaned inside my head. I had no wish to get stuck with a young, talkative boy! Don't get me wrong - it's not that I hate children but I don't like having them around all the time!

He glanced at the book I was reading and blurted, "This book has no pictures! Why would you read something like this?" I sighed. I was reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. I wonder what meaning he would have made out of that young boy's statement, I mused. I did not know what to reply so I merely smiled at him. I think he mistook my smile to mean that I was willing to listen to him, unlike his mother who appeared to be rather bored and was scolding him constantly, asking him to behave himself. "Hello! My name is Deep...This is my first trip by plane! I am going to my maasi's house in Bombay. Are you going to Bombay too?"
"Deep, do not ask stupid questions! This plane is going to Bombay - so all of us on this plane are going to Bombay," his mother reprimanded him. "And do not disturb Didi...sit quietly." She, then, turned to me and apologized, "I am sorry. His name is Debashish..Deep is his daak-naam." I gave her a polite smile and assured her that her son was not disturbing me.

As the flight took off, Deep (or Debashish) started giggling. When his mother gave him dirty looks, he told her that he could feel something funny in his stomach as if things were tossing and turning inside! Despite myself, I grinned at his statement. Here I was fervently praying that the journey should end soon and this boy was savouring each and every moment!

Since I was sitting by the window, once the seat-belt sign was off, Deep unfastened his seat-belt and started staring at the clouds. He started visualizing objects out of the different shapes of the clouds and asked me to join him in 'discovering' more things! I was, at once, transported to my childhood days - I remember I used to sit on my terrace and do the same thing (I still do it sometimes!)...I joined him, and, together, we managed to identify a rabbit, an ice-cream, a triangle, a teddy bear and even Doraemon!

It was an evening flight and once the sun set, the blue canvas of the sky was strewn with beautiful splatters of pink, orange and purple hues. As Deep and I started admiring the view, he yelled at his mother, "These orange and pink shades are not there in my crayon-box...There are so many colours! You will have to get me a bigger box with all these colours!" He pestered me when I was not able to name all the different shades of colours that could be seen at that time (I now understand the plight of some of my friends who fail to understand what I mean when I say 'coral red' and 'delphinium blue') and although I was irritated with his constant questioning, I was awed by the wondrous Mother Nature and her beautiful creations.

As we were descending and the landscape was in aerial view, I pointed down to the rivers that could be seen below. "It is in the shape of a 'S'!" exclaimed Deep. "Yes, " I replied. "When you grow up, you shall learn that this S-shaped pattern of the river is called a meander," I continued. "Wow! Ma, did you know what a meander is?" Deep asked. His mother gave me a rather cross look. She did not seem happy about the fact that I was encouraging him to ask more questions! I was thoroughly enjoying myself so I ignored her expressions and I continued to show off a bit of my geographical knowledge as we saw hills and water-bodies.

It soon, grew dark and as we approached Mumbai, the City of Dreams, greeted us with its well-lit roads and we could make out the cars that were stuck in traffic on the road and some that were moving. Deep was very happy to see this view from the top and his face was glowing as if someone had installed a 1000 watt bulb inside him. When we landed, his face had the same delight it had had at the time of take-off. "Ma, this was brilliant! We shall only travel by planes from now on...Bye Didi!" These were his last words as we got off the plane...

I had enjoyed a flight journey thoroughly after a long time...Perhaps, it is better to see things from the eyes of a young child in order to view life with rose-coloured glasses. Only the young, innocent mind truly appreciates the wonders of the natural surroundings. As we grow up, we tend to start taking most things for granted...No matter how old one grows, one should never let the child in them fade away - That would lead to all of us having a mundane existence. Although I have never succeeded in becoming a prim and proper adult and there are times when I still am mesmerized by the things around me, I needed Deep to remind me to experience each and every moment with the same degree of amazement so that I can indeed live life to the fullest! I hope that through the narration of this incident, even you are inspired to just look out of your window, stare at the sky in front of you and just bask in the glory of the great world that lies in front of us always!

Happy Teachers' Day!

I know that I have been away from the blogging circuit for quite some time now...I have been up to a lot of things and at present, I am spending some time with my family in my home-town, Kolkata.

Today is September 5th - all over India, this day is widely celebrated as Teachers' Day.

I am not very comfortable with the concept of assigning a particular day of the year to the celebration of a particular relationship. For instance, I find it really awkward when friends wish me 'A Very Happy Friendship Day' on the first Sunday of every August. I like being with friends and spending time with them but I do not feel it is necessary to celebrate that beautiful relationship on that one particular day. The creation of a day poses other problems before me - for example, there is a limit to the number of people that I can meet in a day; it is not possible for me to meet my entire bunch of friends on one Sunday just because it happens to be 'Friendship Day'. I also do not like being subjected to emotional blackmail by the use of sentences like, "You met her on Friendship Day but you could not find even half an hour to meet me!"

Teachers' Day, on the other hand, is a fairly simpler day. I just wish some teachers and thank them for all the things that I have learnt from them. This was the first time I got messages from my students and I was quite overwhelmed after reading some of the messages. It always feels good to know that you have made a difference in someone else's life in a positive manner. However, I realized one thing: while my students have learnt a lot of things from me, there are things that they have managed to teach me as well!

I feel I have learnt something from every person that I have met in life. Each interaction with a person has always taught me something new. I have learnt from the accolades of praise that I have got but I have also learnt from criticisms. I have learnt something from every emotional outburst and I have also learnt from something as simple as a personal opinion, which may have been very different from my own perspective of looking at the same thing. We are always in the process of learning things - we just do not realize it, and even if we do, we only tend to acknowledge the formal institutions of education. Learning is an ongoing lifelong process and on this day, I would like to raise a toast to cheer the teaching spirit that is present in each one of us.

To all the people whose blogs I read and to all the people who are reading this, I wish all of you A Happy Teachers' Day and I thank you profusely for all the knowledge you have consciously or unconsciously bestowed upon me. 

I Have Lived...

I was chatting with one of my colleagues, today, during lunch. Her brother will be appearing for his tenth standard board examination in the following year. "He is very confused about what stream to select. Since you are a counsellor, can you help him in selecting his career-path? He is a very intelligent boy and always fares well in his school examinations...Even I don't know whether he should pick Science or Commerce," my colleague stated.
"What about Humanities? Is he not at all interested in Arts?" I asked.
"I just told you he is a bright boy! Why would he need to study Arts?" my colleague cried in protest!
I could not help but smile at her exclamation.

In India, the moment an individual passes the tenth standard examination, he or she is expected to make the first significant decision of his or her life - which stream to choose? Arts, Commerce, or Science? Usually, students who excel in academics are expected to pursue a career in Science and become an engineer or doctor. The average students are encouraged to take up Commerce and pursue careers like Company Secretaryship or Chartered Accountancy. The remaining students who are labelled as 'weak in studies' or 'low achievers' have to take up Arts. And, no matter which stream you have selected, these days, it has become a fad to ultimately land up doing an M.B.A. degree; otherwise, you are believed to be nothing!

I startled my entire family by selecting Humanities as my future stream despite scoring well in my board examinations! It has been more than 7 years since I made that choice; and, today, if someone were to ask me whether I regret that decision, my answer would be 'no'.

I may not be earning as well as some of my peers but I do not regret choosing the path that I selected to walk upon. I see people around me who are dissatisfied and unhappy. They constantly seem to be running behind something - the tragic part is that they do not even know what it is that they are chasing!

I have always been living my life. Most people seem to be living the lives of others. They never knew who they were back then; and, even now, they have never managed to find out what they are. While I was living a 'fairy tale', people were absorbing the darker, grimmer realities - today, my life is filled with bright colours. The others are still seeing things in black or white...

People may call me a slut because of all the wonderful, pleasurable experiences that I have had. But I prefer travelling the forbidden path and relishing the fruits of my labour instead of dying with a mind exploding with virgin thoughts. There have been mistakes that I made but I have had the courage to move past those errors. It has not been an easy ride, I admit. There are times when I have not known where I was going and when I had no idea what was heading my way. But, in order to find ways that no one has discovered before, one does need to get lost! I may not have lived the 'ideal life' as some of my peers but I know that I am living my life in the best possible way that I can while others are busy following in the footsteps of others...

Quality Education For All

I have, recently, been appointed to work in a school as a Special Educator and Counsellor. At present, the summer vacation is still on and only teachers and other faculty members need to be present to ensure that all arrangements to facilitate education are made as soon as school resumes.

As the class-teachers were busy covering note-books and text-books, my colleague and I sat in the staff-room, chalking out our tentative schedules and devising different methods to cater to the wide array of needs of the differently-abled children. We did not really have much to do so we were making use of this opportunity to get to know each other better. Our random conversation was, suddenly, interrupted with a small girl arriving at the door. She was dark with long hair that was neatly tied back in a ponytail. She was dressed in her best clothes and she had a shy smile on her face and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She knocked at the door and asked us if we were teachers.

I smiled at her and nodded my head. "What do you want, child?" I asked her.

"My mother and father...I don't have...I want to study. Please take me in your school!" she proclaimed and looked at us earnestly with eyes wide open. She spoke confidently and her voice was clear and sharp, devoid of any tremors.

I asked her if she had studied previously and she nodded her head. "I have studied till second standard. I want to study more...But I don't have money..."

"Why did you leave that school?" I probed.

"This school is nice - my friend is in same class but she knows more than me! I don't want to go to BMC school" the girl replied. 

This short conversation stirred in me a mixed array of emotions. I was a little startled to find a small seven year old girl walking in to school, all by herself, seeking admission. At the same time, I experienced a sense of joy to see this little girl trying to stand up on her own feet. I also felt proud that I was part of a school that imparted free education to all who were willing to learn!

I referred the girl to my supervisor. The little girl was asked to start coming to school once it re-opens after the vacation. She left the building with a big grin on her face and before leaving, she smiled at me and waved good-bye!

This brief incident instilled in me a deep sense of pride. My job may not be very well-paying  but I think each day, I get to learn a lot. The happiness one gets out of helping someone else cannot be defined in words. I feel extremely glad to be a part of an organization that does not deny access to quality education to anyone on grounds of financial and economic constraints. Children from all communities, of every social strata, the differently-abled - everyone - is welcome here because we, truly, believe that every child is special and we should help them develop their uniqueness in all academic and non-academic spheres. Children are the bright future of our nation and additional steps must be taken to encourage the education of the girl child. I am thankful that I am getting the opportunity of making a difference in whatever small way, and being able to touch the lives of so many others in a way that could, probably, not have been achieved before.