Monday 25 June 2012

The Year Of Surprises

Birthdays have always been a special event for me. Being a person who is not very religious, I regard birthdays as the only day worth celebrating in the life of every individual.From the time I was a small child, I have always had my birthday celebrated in a grand, elaborate manner. Of course, over the years the extravagance has sublimed to quite an extent, but my birthday is still a day which I enjoy spending with my near and dear ones.

My sixteenth birthday is one which I remember very clearly - that year I had broken my leg and was confined to the bedroom. Despite it being my birthday, I did not have a cake to cut nor any visitors who were coming home to meet me. My brother was in school and my parents had gone off to work. I was all alone at home and rather dejected. My friends were busy giving exams which I had been exempted from writing owing to the fact that I could not attend school. As I lay in bed reading a book, I got a call on the intercom that two of my friends had come home to meet me! I was so surprised! It was completely unexpected and thanks to both of them, I had a happy sixteenth birthday after all.

It may strike you as strange but despite this pleasant experience, I have never been fond of surprises. I do not think that receiving a surprise enhances pleasure. I agree that I was happy to have two unexpected visitors dropping in to celebrate my birthday but I do not think my happiness would have been less had I been prepared for their arrival. In hind sight, being aware that they were going to come would have resulted in me not having a miserable mood even for half a day - I would have been impatiently anticipating their arrival instead of brooding over the fact that no one seemed to be taking any effort for making this occasion special.

I happened to stumble upon this quote while writing this post:

"Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable."
- Jane Austen
I remember having a conversation with my friend, Su, on the topic of getting surprises on birthdays. She told me about an incident where one of her friends had planned a surprise party for her on the evening of her birthday - this friend had instructed others to not wish Su at midnight or the entire day. Su was unhappy at midnight when none of her siblings or family members wished her on her birthday. Throughout the day she continued being upset because none of her friends had bothered remembering her birthday and wishing her - even her oldest childhood friend seemed to have forgotten that it was her birthday! It was only in the evening when she discovered the party did she cheer up and celebrate. But was it really necessary to make her go through all that misery the entire day, we, both, wondered?

My best friend had once attempted to surprise me on my seventeenth birthday and failed to do so - he had just moved to the city where I was residing at that time and had decided to not share that information with me - the news was going to be my birthday surprise! Unfortunately for him, I found out much before my birthday that he was in the city and I was furious at not being informed. I took it to mean he did not wish to meet me and I was quite cross!

I have neither been too fond of giving surprises nor fond of receiving them! With time, I have tried keeping an open mind and practicing this growing fad. One day, I sat and introspected and realized that what I don't like about surprises is keeping a person completely in the dark and making him or her feel glum on his or her special day. I realized I don't mind surprising my friends at midnight! I remember dropping into my friend's office at midnight while he was busy working with a basket of goodies and cake. He was pleasantly surprised because he was only expecting me to wish him on the phone at that time - he did not really think that I would drop in at work just to wish him on his birthday! The look on his face was priceless and I could sense that he was happy as he told other people on the phone about how his friend and another colleague managed to surprise him!
Earlier this year, I had surprised another friend in another city by sending her birthday gifts at her hostel - since I had received her postal address from her brother, she was not at all expecting to receive something and, hence, was pleasantly taken aback on the morning of her birthday!

This year, my friend, Sanika, was turning 23 years old. For her birthday, I surprised her by organizing a treasure-hunt for her - I had hidden her gifts in various parts of the house and some time before midnight, I gave her clues that would lead her to them. The hunt was planned to end at 12:00 a.m. sharp with her discovering her last gift that would lead her to her cake which was in  the shape of a girl on the moon (being a Cancerian, she fancies herself as the Moon Maiden). Things went as planned and, if I can say so for myself, I think my surprise worked out well and she did have a good time.

At present, I don't think I am still keen about the prospect of getting surprised on my birthday - I'd prefer knowing whatever it is that is going to come my way. On the other hand, surprising those who like surprises (or at least claim to like surprises) is something I am comfortable with, and, as I have recently discovered, something that I enjoy doing. I am good at planning surprises and ensuring that they are executed successfully but when it comes to being at the end of receiving a surprise, I'd still say, "Thanks but no thanks!"

22 comments:

  1. SPLENDID WRITING, FILLED WITH WIT AND TRUTH. AT 83, PARTICULARLY WITH MY LONG LIST OF AILMENTS, EVERY MORNING TENDS TO BE A SURPRISE. wELL, I WISH YOU MANY MORE: YOU ARE A SPLENDID YOUNG LADY.

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    1. Thank You :) :) I don't mind surprises in the sense - I like unexpected plans and doing things at the spur of the moment but birthdays are one occasion where I like everything to be properly planned to ensure that I am able to smoothly sail through my various groups of friends and family and spend quality time with each one of them :)

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  2. I loved reading this. Though I still think you should leave some room for surprises. I am sure you must have received pleasant ones also. And like I said, you are the Queen of Surprises. I didn't know till the last minute what you had planned for me. So sweet. What makes it nicer is that you go out of your way and outdo yourself to make birthdays special for your friends.

    Love,
    Sanika

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  3. Thats a very unique persepective of surprises and I am quite surprised by it :) I do agree, no point in putting a person through agonizing disappointments and finally giving him a surprise :)

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    1. :) :) Glad to have got that point across - most people never seem to get it when I try explaining it to them :)

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  4. A nice perspective. I am someone who constantly cribs to my hubby about never surprising me :-)
    So when did you celebrate your birthday??

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    1. Ha!Ha! I bet your hubby is a person like me who likes involving the person in the entire planning and execution process instead of just springing surprises :) :)

      I celebrate my birthday on 26th of September every year :) :)

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  5. Its awesome !! Surprises are nice at sometimes.......but on birthdays its stupid.First put a person into complete disappointments and then give him happiness at the end of the day saying it was surprise - it seems idiotic. whats the point the whole day was ruined thinking no one wished you? its really nice!!
    keep writing :):)

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    1. Glad you enjoyed reading this :) :) And I am happy to find someone else who agrees with me on this front :)

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  6. Ha Ha .. Awesome post Dhivya ..
    Very interesting and new perspective ..
    And you do have a point .. It is not correct to keep people sad for the greater part of their special day .. Maybe we can surprise them by doing more than what they expected to get but not deprive them of the bare minimum which they are sure they'd receive ..
    And Jane Austen happens to be one of my favorite authors .. She says facts and observations about life in such a straightforward and brutally honest manner :) Really like that about her writing ..
    Your post was enjoyable as always .. Way to go!!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed reading this :) I am not really fond of Jane Austen - apart from 'Pride and Prejudice' and 'Emma', I did not really like her other works much :) :)

      I agree with you when you say that we should give nice surprises in the form of exceeding their expectations :D :D

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  7. surprisingly i share your point of view... :)

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  8. Lovely writing, Divya:) Who does not like pleasant surprises:)

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    1. Everyone does but I'd prefer the pleasant thing to not be a surprise :D Thanks :D

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  9. I dont like surprises either...Divya you have a flair for writing.

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  10. I like surprising but that is because I take care of all the tiniest of details:)) And no, I don't like being surprised most of the times because it is not all about me, but more for the other person. Complicated to explain!!

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    1. Surprisingly, I get what you mean ;)
      I have discovered that I enjoy surprising but I am not sure I am fond of getting surprised - I do not like it being about me at most times and seeing other people take that effort, I am not sure I feel very comfortable about it - sounds complicated - yes - but to put it rather bluntly, I think it makes me feel somewhat obligated to that person for doing so much for me and I am not sure I like being in that position...

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  11. Pleasant surprises are welcome! Nice writing Divya:)

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    1. Thanks again :P
      I hope to continue surprising you with my writings :D

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