Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Choices


“Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.

'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.” 
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

The month of October has been a month of revelations for me in a lot of ways. I recently pursued a course on Integrated Spiritual Hypnosis. Despite not believing in the concept of past lives or abstract concepts such as foreign energies and auras, the course opened doors to some realities to which I had probably developed some sort of a blind-spot. 


I have always lived under the illusion that my life is perfect. It's not that I am not aware of my shortcomings or the things in life that I don't have, I just have a tendency to focus on the good side of everything because that is something that sprinkles my life with happiness. While doing this course, it dawned on me that perhaps my positive attitude does have its demerits - I tend to trust people easily and even when they disappoint, I choose to overlook that flawed part of them. I also discovered the way I always end up playing the part of a 'Rescuer', going out of the way to help someone in need. In reality, instead of accepting the fact that there are times when I have felt victimized and violated, I project the part of the 'victim' on the other person and try emerging as the Saviour. 


Today, people describe me as a person who is bold, straightforward and someone who never hesitates to speak her mind. I got a glimpse of two past lives during the process of past life regression therapy. While people from different belief-systems can argue over whether we have just one life or many lives, I am choosing to step aside from that debate and just talk about what I "saw" or "imagined" in that hypnotic trance. In both the lives, I saw myself as a helpless, young woman who was vulnerable, failing miserably to take charge of her life. Ultimately, that led to my downfall or doom. When I was discussing this with my friends, most of them were astounded at what I was like in the past and relieved that I am no more that person today. However, I still found myself having a lot of questions and at the moment, I have come to the realization that, perhaps, I am not that different in this life as well. I can put up a bold face in front of the whole, wide world but I know the dark shadows that haunt me when I am all alone, all by myself. 


If I were to draw parallels from my past lives to the present one, there are some strikingly painful similarities as if the stage and the actors are all set, once more, to play the parts they have already rehearsed for in the previous lives...When this realization hit, I found myself very disturbed and wondered what was the point of going on with life if I have no control over what is going to come my way. However, this morning, my friend, Mohini, was kind enough to share some write-ups with me, which reminded me that life is actually all about the choices we make. It does not matter if life is teaching me an incomplete lesson from a previous life-time or is bestowing a fresh lesson my way, what matters is the wisdom to understand the patterned regularities of one's behaviour and to break these patterns, if necessary. 


Letting go isn't something that has ever been easy for me...While there are people and things I have been able to discard from my life in the wink of an eye, when I look back, I realize that they didn't mean anything to me. People in life who I deeply care about are people I can never give up on - no matter how many times they disappoint or hurt me. I am always scared of letting go because I fear the emptiness that will be left in my heart if I truly let go of that emotion or that person. Mohini, once again, reminded me that Nature abhors vacuum and something will certainly come and occupy that empty space. With this powerful thought embedded deep in my mind, today, I have started walking on the path of letting go of my fears and inhibitions and simply walking the road of life with my head held high. I do not know where my destination lies but I am determined to enjoy the entire journey. I am hoping that this choice that I have made is a healthy one...

30 comments:

  1. A very deep post... and at a perfect time for Me :)

    I have always wanted to undergo this exercise as I feel there are lot of answers that I need and will get only there. This post of yours is kind of pushing me more to pursue it!

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    1. The Universe has a strange principle of attracting people sailing on the same boat together :) :) Glad that my post could motivate you to push your boundaries and pursue your quest for answers :) :) If you are in Mumbai, I would be glad to conduct a session of past life therapy for you ;)

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    2. WOW!!

      Are you serious???? :D

      I would love to do that... will email you in a while....thanks so much for this!

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    3. Checked your email and replied :) And you are always welcome :) Thanks for the mail!

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  2. Two unrelated comments. 1. You made the right choice. 2. As late President Kennedy said: Listen to everyone but trust no one.

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  3. Divya! Awesome.... and real!
    If only you knew the difference your presence made to me at the classes....!
    I love you!
    *
    *
    *
    Mohini

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    1. I love you too Mohini!! I am glad my presence made a positive difference to you :)

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  4. Interesting, Divya! We attract things as per how we work with our inner self. I did a yoga program couple of years ago and came to understand and believe that we deal with two types of karma- the one we have accumulated over previous birth and the one that we currently accrue in this birth. While we have no control over the karma that we have accumulated in the past, we can definitely control what we do to ourselves in this life, so as to negate any ill of the previous and simultaneously gather good in this life. So, this is in fact the free-will we exercise. We have this free-will in every birth, just that we need to be aware and use it to our benefit.

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    1. True on the 'karma' part - it is either the karma that is from the previous birth and the one we create in the current life BUT we do have control over the previous karma - you can always get rid of the baggage..it's all about choice - that is what I learnt from the program!

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  5. Dearest Divya,

    I am truly very happy for you & love you for what you are...

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    1. Thank You :) Tell me who you are so that I can be happy for you and, probably, love you too ;)

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  6. It's all a matter of choice. What you do with your life or how you want it to be .. is all up to you. Don't sweat it. Simply be true to yourself. Listen to your heart cos the mind sometimes over-thinks things. Keep life simple.

    Blessings to you and your loved ones.

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    1. I always have kept life simple - there are times when I tend to stray...I am glad this experience got me back on track :)

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  7. My first introduction to past life regression has been through this book "Many Lives, Many Masters". Well, I do believe in past life but can't argue why, strange or ignorant as it seems. But I do believe in what Uma has said so well - theory of karma. Intersting post!

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    1. Thanks :) I still have to read the book though have heard a lot about it :) :) It has been a fascinating experience and suddenly I can feel my life transforming!

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  8. Its hard to understand past life...

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    1. I somehow seem to understand it completely now :)

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  9. Just like Albus Dumbledore, I think you too tend to believe in the best of people - at your own peril. This letting go bit - I am really really happy for you! Neither you nor anyone else knows what is right or wrong. But I do notice a certain lightness, even in your writing, now that you have decided to let go! As far as emptiness is concerned, I think the empty space does get filled up. You yourself told me this once, nothing and no one is irreplaceable... While the experiences because of a particular cause or thing or person does leave us with bittersweet feelings and they are (the happy times at least) experiences which enrich our lives, I have always believed that if something gives us more grief than happiness, it's best to let it go.

    Love,
    Sanika

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    1. The funniest thing is this time when I let go, there is no emptiness - there is relief and happiness...just that! No void whatsoever! Thank you for always being there for me in those times of trouble - I think you were a major reason why my sanity remained intact :) :)

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  10. "Nature abhors vacuum and something will certainly come and occupy that empty space" loved those lines!

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  11. I do not know where my destination lies but I am determined to enjoy the entire journey...super attitude boss:)

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    1. Thanks! I was always someone perturbed by change because of the amount of times I have shifted houses within cities and cities themselves. I was always in search of that one place which will be PERMANENT and which will be mine....Now I realize change is the purpose of my life :) And I should just enjoy the journey...my destination will arrive when it has to :)

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  12. Nice work. Introspection and Inspection really need to go together. Very well written.

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  13. Some deep thoughts and ideas here ... loved this post. Your blog is beautiful :-)

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    1. Thank You! I love your poems as well :) :)

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  14. Hey lovely post!! n have you really gone through a hypnotic session?? I too want to undergo one....Infact I wanna learn Hypnotherapy....

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    1. Thanks :) I am a certified clinical hypnotherapist myself, Priyaa :)

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