Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Freedom (Flash Fiction)

“She is stunning,” he thought as he looked at her intently. “Bright blue eyes, rosy cheeks, luscious lips…She could get anyone!” He remembered the large swarm of boys in his class who had had a crush on her. She wasn't a head turner but she was the cute girl next door with whom every guy wanted to be; and of all the men standing in line to be with her, she had chosen a brat like him to spend the rest of her life. She wanted his love, care and attention. He bestowed upon her insults, injuries and rebukes. Finally she could take it no more and decided to walk out of this loveless marriage. She wanted to be free. He granted her wish. He could see what he had done to her. Her rosy cheeks had become pale. Her luscious red lips were dry and her bright eyes had lost their luster.  In the spur of a moment, he raised the knife and dug the blade into her back. She gasped with her eyes wide open as she was released from her suffocated existence. He bent down to close her eyes. She had always believed in the best of everyone yet she had experienced the worst for herself. He had murdered her today but he had raped her dreams and her life long ago. Each day, a part of her was dying a tiny death. Today, he had ended it once and for all. He wiped a tear that was about to surface on his face. With a grim look, he dropped the knife. Without giving her another glance, he just walked away from the house, now, in search of his own freedom. 

26 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Sad, maybe but at least she got her freedom!

      Delete
  2. Whoa... dejavu Divya !! :)

    Read this and you will come to know what I am talking about - http://privytrifles.blogspot.in/2012/12/the-assassin-flash-fiction.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh My! It is creepy how you and I are able to write on such similar lines, isn't it?

      Delete
  3. The darkness in the story is well portrayed ... I too had written something on similar line a few months ago ... Here is the link:

    Poison Love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just visited the link and dropped in a comment :) You really write amazingly well!

      Delete
  4. Domestic violence is a very dreading issue. Be it arranged marriage or the loved ones, Sometimes these failures behead the significance of relationships. Beautifully penned Divya :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Domestic violence is a very complicated issue - it isn't just to do with the physical abuse but the emotional and mental trauma one goes through often gets ignored...

      Delete
  5. He is portrayed as the more powerful one throughout. Even in her wanting release it was he who made it happen!

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's very interesting how you were able to notice that! People often say that once the author starts writing, the characters just create themselves and the author, then, has no control over what he/she is penning down - it is now totally controlled by the characters he himself has created!
    Whenever she had wanted something, she had seen him as the person who would give it to her. He was always someone who in return for what she asked gave her something that only harmed her...He is always the more powerful one because she has surrendered to him completely :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sometimes, there is this almost rhythmic quality to your writing that pulls you right in. This post specifically, reminded me of your poems, rather your style of poetry.

    Love,
    Sanika

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't written poems in a very long time now :) But I guess some styles of writing are just difficult to give up on!

      Delete
  8. Indeed! Very thought-provoking...
    After all, who did whom in....!!!

    Love-love, Divya!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Keep writing, Divya. You just get better and better with each piece. Blessings to you and your loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You Ellen! It is your compliments that have always inspired me to continue writing :)

      Delete
  10. My God!! That was terrible ( the plot I mean).. I could almost feel the violence in that guy! Good piece Divya.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice writing Divya .. But I wonder why he had to heap abuse and insult on his dream girl .. I keep wondering the same thing whenever I hear such incidents .. Is it some inherent psychic disorder .. Or inability to handle life ..
    I feel so bad for people the abuser and the abused ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Aarthy...I don't think it is a "psychic disorder" - I just feel all of us always operate from any 1 of the 3 life-positions of Rescuer, Victim and Persecutor - of course, we all play different roles in different situations at different times but some people just have a tendency to get stuck playing 'victim' or 'persecutor'...

      Delete
  12. As well written as it is, I didnt like it that he was portrayed as the one with the heart, wanting to 'let her free'. He brought her to the stage she was in..... and its just pure murder - of her, her life and her dreams - and nothing else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps there is something in your space that is preventing you from seeing the man also having a heart :)

      Delete
  13. First tym on ur blog.. Really u wrote super.... Ur observation is awesm.. Keep writing... Enjoy .. C my blog...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Ur welcm... :) thanks fr commenting nd visiting my blog... Keep writing sharing nd visiting

      Delete