Saturday, 14 November 2015

The Twenty-Six Year Old Child

It was an orange scarf that hid in a corner of my cupboard and I never bothered giving it a second glance. I had never worn it, and would probably never use it, and so it lay tucked in its corner, bearing the burden of other clothes piled on top of it, almost forgotten. Until one fateful evening when my mother told me to give it away in order to clear some space. Despite the fact that it took her over half an hour to explain which scarf she was talking about, I put my foot down and refused to get rid of it. And so it stayed in my cupboard, and it still has never been used.

As I reflect on my behaviour, I know it is the kind that probably a four year old is more suited for, and I wonder what made me react in this strange possessive manner. It isn't just about the scarf but, in general, I am not someone who likes doing away with things. I have been this way since I was a child, and at twenty-six, I am not sure if I am any different.

I often wonder: do we really change with time? Do we actually grow up or are we the same people inside who would react to things the same way they'd do before if only they were given the space? As we start developing physically, our process of socialization ensures that we start reacting in ways that we are expected to, but do we really change as a person inside ourselves?

The process of growing up involves behaving in a way as expected by our peers, family members and significant others. So, we try hiding the green monster with a smile when we greet some people. We brush off our irresponsible side with finesse and each and every moment, we stand, all geared up to brave the big, fierce world. We try hard to fill the gap and be the person we are expected to be in order to match the image they have of us. But, somewhere inside, we still enjoy those small joys; we still like to do silly things; and some wishes that were once our dreams continue to haunt us.

Each one of us, according to me, is unique, and born with a different set of abilities, habits and desires. Rather than trying so hard to fit in with the rest, we should just own up to who we truly are and work towards achieving what we were born to do. If your first instinct as a child was to gather up some vessels and make music, chances are that it still is! Hence, this Children's Day, let us resolve to loosen up a bit, and be the person our inner voice has been screaming out to be. After all, we don't really "grow up", we just learn to hide ourselves better.

Happy Children's Day Everyone! Let Us Always Remember To Celebrate The Child In Each One Of Us!


  1. I completely agree with you dear. We definitely need to loosen ourselves up.
    I dunno why, but in the midst of different situations that presents us with as we grow old, we try to kill the child within us and that's when we end up hiding behind the word called "responsibilities". :)
    Happy Children's Day :)

    1. I'm visiting this space rather late :-)

      Innocence is always the first thing that dies as we progress in our journey of life. "Responsibilities", "Duties", "Obligations", "Expectations" - all kill the natural pleasure-seeking child present in each one of us.

      May we be blessed with the sensibility to ensure its survival :-)

  2. I agree with you completely. I have changed myself to suit others and have lost the "me" in the process. I am not sure if I am ok with this loss as the new "me" is more socially acceptable. We were conditioned from childhood to behave, to follow, to be good, respectful and all that our parents thought would make them proud. In the process we have grown up as confused and people pleasing adults.

    I have tried my best to not do the same to my kids and in this process, as of now, the kids are socially awkward, apparently rude, and preoccupied with selfish interests. I know its not something my mom will feel proud of, but at the end of the day I am sure it will hold the kids in good stead and as a mother I feel that is more important than anything else.

    1. I can relate with what you are saying. Some days I stare into the mirror and contemplate about who I really am - had I not been subject to socialization and conditioning, would I still like the things I do or behave in the manner I do?

      Sometimes, I speak my mind and am often chided by others in the family. Some feel I am "misunderstood" as I don't know the right way to express myself....Honestly, it doesn't matter. I remember reading this quote - "A day will come when you will have to face yourself, and that, and only that, can be the best or the worst day of your life."

      So keep the child in you alive :-) It will guarantee happiness!

      I also wish all parents thought the same way as you!

  3. Divya, I agree this is fabulous advice... I've often wondered if we really grow up... or just act the way we are 'supposed to' ... I think we need to be ourselves and remember it's more fun to stay and act like a child. Thank you for your kind comment, have a wonderful week♡

    1. Happy New Year, Launna :-) I'm afraid I haven't visited my space in a while!

      Let's aspire to be our honest and true selves this new year - act the way we want to act instead of being "grown up" all the time :-)

  4. There is a child in all of us ... lovely post :-) We all are unique in our own ways :-)