Best Friends

Today, as I was introspecting on various aspects of my personality, I realized that loyalty is not my strongest virtue. I am not loyal to any city nor have I been faithful to a lot of people, in particular. As a child, I remember having a new “best friend” every academic year. There were times in my teens when I often questioned if something was wrong with me – I kept discarding people from my life more easily than I would discard my clothes! While I was a prominent figure in most social circles, I was not really close to anybody at a personal level. For a long time, I had a lot of people with whom I could hang out and have fun but there was hardly anyone in my life with whom I interacted at an intimate level. I always believed that if there is something that I cannot tell everybody, I should say it to nobody.

Of course, beliefs are not permanent and I am not the person I used to be. I trust easily. I have no qualms in displaying my affection. My secrets are no more just my own – I am alright with the idea of baring my soul in front of a select few friends. Of course, there have been let-downs but I choose to focus on the good experiences. The bad experiences – even if they are in the form of people who betrayed my trust - are tossed in the waste-basket. I guess some things never change – the ability to wipe people out of my life just as one rubs off the marks of chalk from a blackboard still exists; but today, it is exercised exclusively on those who, I feel, are undeserving of second chances.

I have always been close to my family, especially my brother. Perhaps, that is the reason why I never bothered making friends – I did not really require them. Then (you may be wondering) what caused things to change?

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."
- Flavia Weedn

The answer is simple. I met someone. Someone whose ideas were very different from mine; someone who was from a very different background; someone with whom I had, and still do have, nothing in common. 

Before your mind wanders off speculating who this special “someone” is, let me just stop your thoughts from meandering right now! That special “someone” is nobody else other than my best friend.

Yes, I am twenty-three years old and I still believe in the concept of a “best friend”. Some of my friends (including my best friend) argue that as adults, one can have many “good friends” but the concept of having just one best friend is bizarre and juvenile. I disagree. I do not feel it is possible to ever love two people the same amount – people just have an issue with openly acknowledging another person as the “best friend”. However, even if we choose to do away with the labels, in my opinion, the sentiment remains intact.

My best friend is a man. He is the first person I think about when I want to make plans. He is the first person I want to consult regarding the important things happening in my life. He is the person I want to go to when I am upset because he will know how to take care of me. There are a lot of speculations about whether the relationship is restricted to just friendship, as is the case with most man-woman friendships. However, what people assume has never been a subject of bother for either me or my best friend. In the end, it is about how comfortable you are with each other and how clearly you have defined the relationship for yourself.

I am not a very girly person. Having a man as a best friend has its advantages. I do not need to engage in discussions regarding the latest fashion trends or make-up! I can gossip without being too venomous – I do not mean to stereotype but it is my personal experience that girls tend to be very catty when they indulge in gossip. Boys gossip despite all their claims not to but they can never match the bitchiness levels of girls, in my opinion. Having a man as a best friend ensures that you can drink as much as you want without worrying about anyone taking advantage of your drunkenness. While same-sex friendships also have their benefits, there has never been a time when I thought I could not share something with my best friend on the grounds of him being a man. In the end, friendship is not based on a person’s sex or gender. It is beyond all those parameters.

This post is dedicated not just to my best friend – he knows who he is – but to all those friends who have made a difference to my world by accepting me for what I am and  for never giving up on me even though I show no signs of improvement!