Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Best Friends


Today, as I was introspecting on various aspects of my personality, I realized that loyalty is not my strongest virtue. I am not loyal to any city nor have I been faithful to a lot of people, in particular. As a child, I remember having a new “best friend” every academic year. There were times in my teens when I often questioned if something was wrong with me – I kept discarding people from my life more easily than I would discard my clothes! While I was a prominent figure in most social circles, I was not really close to anybody at a personal level. For a long time, I had a lot of people with whom I could hang out and have fun but there was hardly anyone in my life with whom I interacted at an intimate level. I always believed that if there is something that I cannot tell everybody, I should say it to nobody.

Of course, beliefs are not permanent and I am not the person I used to be. I trust easily. I have no qualms in displaying my affection. My secrets are no more just my own – I am alright with the idea of baring my soul in front of a select few friends. Of course, there have been let-downs but I choose to focus on the good experiences. The bad experiences – even if they are in the form of people who betrayed my trust - are tossed in the waste-basket. I guess some things never change – the ability to wipe people out of my life just as one rubs off the marks of chalk from a blackboard still exists; but today, it is exercised exclusively on those who, I feel, are undeserving of second chances.
I have always been close to my family, especially my brother. Perhaps, that is the reason why I never bothered making friends – I did not really require them. Then (you may be wondering) what caused things to change?

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."
- Flavia Weedn

The answer is simple. I met someone. Someone whose ideas were very different from mine; someone who was from a very different background; someone with whom I had, and still do have, nothing in common. 
Before your mind wanders off speculating who this special “someone” is, let me just stop your thoughts from meandering right now! That special “someone” is nobody else other than my best friend.

Yes, I am twenty-three years old and I still believe in the concept of a “best friend”. Some of my friends (including my best friend) argue that as adults, one can have many “good friends” but the concept of having just one best friend is bizarre and juvenile. I disagree. I do not feel it is possible to ever love two people the same amount – people just have an issue with openly acknowledging another person as the “best friend”. However, even if we choose to do away with the labels, in my opinion, the sentiment remains intact.

My best friend is a man. He is the first person I think about when I want to make plans. He is the first person I want to consult regarding the important things happening in my life. He is the person I want to go to when I am upset because he will know how to take care of me. There are a lot of speculations about whether the relationship is restricted to just friendship, as is the case with most man-woman friendships. However, what people assume has never been a subject of bother for either me or my best friend. In the end, it is about how comfortable you are with each other and how clearly you have defined the relationship for yourself.

I am not a very girly person. Having a man as a best friend has its advantages. I do not need to engage in discussions regarding the latest fashion trends or make-up! I can gossip without being too venomous – I do not mean to stereotype but it is my personal experience that girls tend to be very catty when they indulge in gossip. Boys gossip despite all their claims not to but they can never match the bitchiness levels of girls, in my opinion. Having a man as a best friend ensures that you can drink as much as you want without worrying about anyone taking advantage of your drunkenness. While same-sex friendships also have their benefits, there has never been a time when I thought I could not share something with my best friend on the grounds of him being a man. In the end, friendship is not based on a person’s sex or gender. It is beyond all those parameters.

This post is dedicated not just to my best friend – he knows who he is – but to all those friends who have made a difference to my world by accepting me for what I am and  for never giving up on me even though I show no signs of improvement!

24 comments:

  1. I think it is wonderful that you can have a no holds barred conversation with a man. But I think it works both ways. It depends on what kind of man it is. The level of trust and comfort one feels with the person is important. Also, if your friends have never given up on you, many of them can also vouch for the fact that you haven't given up on them. It takes a lot to make someone a better person. Perhaps you inspire some of your friends to become better people - in whatever way.

    Love Always,
    Sanika

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with your point that a lot depends on the person's personality and comfort-level :)

      And thank you for the other things you've tried to convey :) Message received :) :)

      Thanks for always being there for me!

      Love,
      Divya

      Delete
  2. Males and females can perfectly be just friends. This “just best friendship” will be put to test when you fall in love with a guy or when he falls in love with a girl. Hope that guy or that girl is understanding. However, if you both fall in love with each other eventually, advance congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mirrored my thoughts on many many things! Always a wonderful thing in life when you have a person you can open up to and talk like you are the only two people in the world :)

    My best friend is a guy too and some of my closest friends are guys and I've never thought of a need to prove my relationship/friendship with them to anyone. Some of my best conversations in life have been with them!

    Happy Birthday to your Best Friend! :) Cheers to your friendship - may it blossom always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha!Ha! I will let him thank you on Facebook :P And thanks for the wishes :) :)

      Delete
  4. Wow.. this was a very cute post Divya. I agree with all that you said as I recently wrote a story on similar lines. I just wish people understood this "just friendship"

    And hi-5 for I am like you and my best friend is a guy. It gives me a lot of comfort when we talk about many things under the sun which most of the times my girl friends could not give me.

    Take care <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks :) I hope you are doing well :) :) Every friendship comes with its share of gifts :)

      Delete
  5. You are indeed lucky. Not many are blessed with such friends.
    Delightful read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed reading this :) :) Yes, I do consider myself fortunate to be blessed with such wonderful friends in this world :D

      Delete
  6. Enjoyed this down to earth and straight from the heart post! Agree with you Divya,on most of what what you said about basic honesty in a friendship:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) :) I am so glad that you enjoyed the read :) Thank you for stopping by!

      Delete
  7. I remember this thing Muhammad Ali has said, 'friendship is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learnt the value of friendship, you really haven't really learnt anything'. I think that's really true, both the first and the second part of the statement. Very few people find that their school buddies are friends for life. And that's okay. On another point you mentioned, when I think logically, I too think that a best friend is rather illogical, you can have many good friends but one best friend ? But then, what does life know about logic ? Heartfelt post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you when you say that one can have many good friends..But if one is really honest with oneself, one will realize that one can never love 2 people in the same manner - there will always be some differences in the way you love different people :) Maybe the one you love out of them all, you may term as your "best friend" but at the end of the day, it is only a label :)

      Even you have a best friend out of all the good friends that you have :) :) It's just a matter of expressing to the world - most of us, as adults, are not sure we want to do that :)

      Delete
  8. It's always nice to have a guy as your best friend for all the reasons that you just said. Plus, people keep coming and going in our lives, It is up to us to choose who to let go and who not to let go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with what you said that we are responsible for the people we keep in our lives :)

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. I am wondering what is the reason behind your grin?

      Delete
  10. hi,
    Here goes my first blog post for u n ur followers

    http://padhyb.blogspot.in/2013/04/ABiggerBeggar.html

    I hope you like it.

    Thanks,
    Bibaswan Padhy

    ReplyDelete
  11. This post is as sweet as you. Because it contains topics like that of Jane Austen. Friendship Love Betrayal loyalty etc. I love it as its mind bending.
    Read my blog too. Specially my new story:

    http://arshadusmani.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete